intention

I've never been one for New Year's resolutions, mostly because I get tired/lazy/bored of my original idea and it is kind of a lot of work. My friend Kristi makes yearly "intentions" instead of resolutions. She writes her intentions down and sticks them on her fridge, so that she is mindful of them throughout the year. She said she has almost always accomplished most of her intentions since starting this process a few years ago.

I've been thinking about intentions for my year. I've been reading the book Women, Food, and God, and the author, Geneen Roth speaks a lot about intention as it comes to eating. Her book offers tips to eat mindfully, through eating what your body really wants when you are hungry, paying attention to the food and savoring it, and then stopping when you are full. This requires patience, curiosity, and thoughtfulness, since it is work to ask your body what it really wants and to be aware of when you are satisfied.

Geneen also talks about living purposefully, feeling all of your emotions fully, and fully occupying every inch of space you take up on this earth. I've been thinking about what that might look like.

Lately I've been feeling like sometimes I live life on autopilot. I think my intention for this year will be to live with more intention. I see this playing out in a variety of ways:

1) My body needs proper fuel. I've been thinking a lot about how foods make my body feel on the starch free diet. I know that starch makes me feel heavy, bloated, weighed down, groggy, itchy, and nauseated. However, I've been interpreting starch free as many nuts, meats, eggs, and dairy. My produce intake has been seriously lacking. For starters, I want to be intentional about eating more produce, trying new recipes especially for veggies, and trying new fruits and veggies that I haven't eaten before or haven't really liked in the past.

To help in this effort, I've been meeting with girlfriends every other Sunday to share recipes and plan out some dinner ideas. I'm also considering incorporating raw recipes into my diet a few times a week, mostly because every time I eat at Thrive, a raw restaurant in Seattle, I feel awesome. The problem is I've never cooked raw before and don't really know much about it, so I'll have to do some research and experimentation. I think more fruits and veggies is a good place to start.

2) My body needs exercise. I thought about which exercise my body enjoys the most and I really like high impact cardio, hot yoga, and the occasional weight lifting class. Therefore, I purchased a ten class package for my local hot yoga studio, have been hitting up weight lifting, step, and spinning classes at my gym, and have a goal to do at least one race (5k or more) per month from February to August. I have always wanted to be a better runner and I think having a competitive run each month will help keep me focused and motivated.

3) I need to work on fully experiencing my emotions. I have known I use food as therapy ever since my parents divorced when I was 17. That year I quit all of my after school activities. Instead, I would come home after school, camp out in front of the tv, and eat. Coincidentally, this is also when my struggle with weight first reared its ugly head. Until I figure out how to feel my emotions without blocking that emption through food, tv, shopping, drinking etc, I am not living a full life. I am also prone to weight cycling. Allowing myself to experience emotions for what they are is going to take a ton of effort and patience and is so much easier said than done, but it is something I realized I have to do if I want to experience my life to the fullest.

4) I need to be aware of my tendency to over-consume. This ties in so much to not fully feeling emotions. Basically, I shop too much and eat too much, usually when I am stressed/sad/annoyed/bored/wanting to prolong feeling good. I know that the excess shopping and excess eating stems from wanting some sort of rush, and I always think it will make me feel happy. These habits are toxic though. They're wreaking havoc on my wallet and my waistline. I'm saving for a new car and it's the first time I've really had to save for a big purchase. It is a good exercise in questioning if I really should be spending money, and I'm hoping this newfound awareness will be applied to multiple areas of my life.

Well, that's all I have for now. Here's hoping for a great 2011!

ps- apparently I'm not the only one with this idea. Read this blog for even more great ideas about eating with intention: http://glutenfreegirl.com/apple-fennel-slaw/

beating the winter blahs

Right around mid January I start itching for the tropics. Visions of turquoise waters and white sandy beaches fill my mind (and are usually the background on my mac). I daydream about the feel of the warm sun on my skin and squiggling my toes in the sand.

This is probably because January in Seattle is about as far from the tropics as you can get. It's wet, drippy, cloudy, and windy. Every once in a while though, we get a few days of bright sunshine in mid January. It's the kind of sun that makes me long for summer. I roll down the windows of my crappy Nissan as far as I can stand, crank the heat up, and imagine the heat from my heater is actually from the sun. For a few minutes, it's pure bliss.

Here's a few recipes inspired by the tropics. Hopefully they'll warm you up on a particularly nasty winter day.

Blackberry coconut smoothie:
Blend 1 cup frozen blackberries, 1/2 cup nonfat milk, 1/4 cup unsweetened kefir, 2 scoops vanilla whey protein powder sweetened with stevia (I like Aria women's protein), 2 tablespoons flaked unsweetened coconut, 1/4 teaspoon coconut extract, and 2-3 packets of stevia or erythritol sweetener to taste (I like Truvia or Organic Zero). Paper umbrella optional.

African peanut soup:
This is modified from a recipe from my friend's copy of Vegetarian Times.
2 medium onions, chopped
2 large red bell peppers, chopped
2 large green bell peppers, chopped
4 medium cloves of garlic, mashed
2 tablespoons canola oil
One 28 ounce can of whole tomatoes with juice, chopped coarsely
2 boxes of Pacific branch mushroom broth
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
2/3 cup creamy unsweetened peanut butter
1/4 cup unsweetened coconut milk
1 tablespoon fresh grated ginger
1/4 cup fresh chopped cilantro
Zest of 1 lime

In a large soup pot, saute the onion, bell peppers and garlic until the onions start to brown. Add the tomatoes with juice, mushroom broth, black pepper, and red pepper flakes. Simmer, uncovered, over low heat for 40 minutes. Stir in the peanut butter and mix until soup is creamy. Add the coconut milk, ginger, cilantro, and lime zest, and stir until combined. Heat to a simmer and serve.

Tropical Chicken:
Drizzle a baking dish with a small amount of olive oil. Set aside. Preheat oven to 350.
In a medium bowl, beat 2 eggs. Add 2 teaspoons coconut aminos, 1 tablespoon fresh grated ginger, 1 dash of garlic powder, and a pinch of cayenne pepper.
In a separate medium bowl, combine 1 cup unsweetened flaked coconut and 1/4 cup macadamia nuts, finely chopped.
Dip 8 chicken cutlets in the egg mixture, then in the coconut mixture, and place in the pan. Pour any remaining egg mixture over the chicken in the dish, and top with any remaining coconut mixture. Drizzle the juice of one fresh lime over the top and bake about 20 minutes, until the coconut starts to brown and the chicken is cooked through.

oh, we jingled all right!

Here's the long overdue update to the Jingle Bell Run!

When I woke up the morning of the run, it wasn't just raining. It was POURING. It was the kind of stereotypical Seattle rain that non-Seattleites think happens all the time (it doesn't), where five minutes outside will leave you looking like you took a shower with your clothes on. Not to mention it was freaking cold and windy. Brrrr!

And yet, it was Jingle Bell day, and I had a team to lead.

Five of my fabulous friends joined team AS Kicker and there was no way I was going to wimp out on them because of some measly rain (and wind). No way, Jose. So I woke up at the crack of dawn, pulled on my red and green striped socks, red fleece, sequined Santa hat, and snowflake gloves. I tied jingle bells to my sneakers, and I headed out for one wet run.

I so wasn't kidding about the socks...

I gathered my team, and we headed out into the elements. There were people running in garbage bag ponchos, ski outfits, elf costumes, and every red/green combo imaginable. I even saw a group of girls dressed up with glowing snowflakes on their backs. Talk about feeling the Christmas spirit!

If you look really carefully, you can see the blue glow of snowflake girl.

Despite the rain, my wonderful friends and I all successfully completed the 5k and also managed to raise almost 500 bucks! (And then we promptly headed indoors for hot coffee and brunch.) All together, team AS Kicker raised $460 for arthritis research.

I am so grateful to be surrounded by amazing friends and family who have supported me in my efforts to combat AS. 

Thanks to all of you for reading my blog, for your kind words of encouragement, and for your support!

Happy (belated) holidays from team AS Kicker! :)

breathe

December was a frenzied month of stress and overindulgence. My job was crazy, I was behind schedule in prepping for the holidays, and though I had many fun bouts of making merry and felt very festive, I also kind of felt like a chicken running around with my head cut off.

Between the hustle and bustle and twinkle lights and silver bells, I lost focus. Stealthily, starch slowly but steadily crept back into my life.

It started with egg nog. We bought the good kind, in the glass bottles from the fancy grocery store nearby. It was thick and delicious. I was only going to drink one glass, I swear...

Then there was a Christmas luncheon/reunion with old friends (one made a delicious soup with beans and corn and I felt bad not eating it). We also drank mimosas, naturally.

Then there were cookie exchanges, Christmas cocktails with friends (i.e. more egg nog, but this time in martini form), family dinners, gingerbread house building with my college friends, and looking at Christmas lights with Bailey's in my coffee (it's a Christmas tradition, after all). And who can resist the Starbucks gingerbread lattes? They come in red cups, for Pete's sake!

Christmas left me feeling like I was spinning in a sugary haze. And not in a good way.

I woke up the day after Christmas with renewed conviction. I will get back on my diet! I will go to the gym and do a four hour workout! I should sign up for hot yoga! My jeans fit  a bit tighter and this is unacceptable! I will fix this!

I signed into blogger yesterday to write a self reproaching blog, stating my renewed enthusiasm for living in a healthful way. But my homepage on blogger shows all of the blogs I'm signed up to read, and one in particular caught my eye: breathe.

I've been reading Gluten Free Girl and the Chef since I was first diagnosed with AS and investigating the gluten free lifestyle. If any of my blogs could capture even a glimmer of Shauna's wisdom and grace, I would be so grateful.

Breathe, Shauna's latest blog, reminded me to slow down. In all of my rushing around and merrymaking I had forgotten to embrace what is really special about the holidays: love. Instead of running around to buy gifts and staying up late to finish baking cookies, I should have made more phone calls to family, or spent more quality time with friends. Rather than succumbing to holiday gluttony, I should have remembered that I also need to love myself, and feed my body what it needs to thrive.

In the midst of the December crazies I did find the time to read through the new book Women, Food, and God. There will be plenty more blogs about this book, I'm sure, as it is chock full of insight and tips to ending compulsive eating once and for all. I read through it too quickly and am now taking the time to go back through and really digest it. There are so many great ideas, and I learned I need to slow down and pay attention. I need to listen to my hunger and satiety cues, and love my body through food.

The first step is just to breathe. When I notice I want to eat something, I need to pause for a moment. I am trying to ask myself "Why do you want to eat that? Are you hungry? Bored? Stressed? Does it just sound good?"

And then, when I do eat it, I am trying to really pay attention then as well. What is the texture? What favors do I notice? How does it feel in my mouth? How does my body respond? Can I tell when I've had enough?

It's the end of December, and the end of another year. It's the time for reflection and looking ahead. But before I spend too much time focusing on new goals for 2011 and get sucked back into a stress vortex, I'm going to allow myself a few more minutes to breathe and really appreciate all of the great things that 2010 brought.

Happy holidays, everyone!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope this Thanksgiving finds you feasting on delicious foods, surrounded by the ones you love. I am so thankful this year for my doctors who have helped diagnose my disease, and for the continuous love and support of my friends and family. I have so enjoyed discovering new recipes and foods to share with you, and am looking forward to sharing some delicious starch free Thanksgiving sides with my family this year.

My no starch Thanksgiving menu includes:

-brussels sprouts with blue cheese, bacon, and chanterelle mushrooms

-mashed cauliflower with sage and brown butter sauce

-spiced cranberry sauce

-homemade eggnog with rum

-spring greens with pear, pomegranate, goat cheese, aged gouda, and fig balsamic 

-chocolate peanut butter pie

Delicious recipes and mouth watering photos to come! For now, I'm off to join my family.

Best wishes for a safe and happy holiday season!

Enjoy!

Jingle all the Way!

Two years ago I was diagnosed with AS: Ankylosing Spondylitis. It's a disease that worsens over time and left untreated can cause my spine to fuse, resulting in the appearance of a hunchback.

 I've decided that instead of feeling sorry for myself, I wanted to try and change my life and support others who are also suffering from this debilitating disease. Through this effort I have followed a strict diet that improves my symptoms, have become better at loving myself, and have started this blog. To continue in this effort, I have decided to start a team for the 2010 Seattle Jingle Bell Run/Walk for Arthritis.

The Jingle Bell Run is put on by the Northwest chapter of the Arthritis Foundation. According to the website, "funds raised support critical arthritis research, public health efforts and public policy initiatives."


I'm all about doing exercise for a cause, especially when you can dress up! People dress up in costume for the Jingle Bell Run, tying jingle bells to their sneakers and wearing red and green antlers. I'm thinking of wearing a sequined Santa hat!

The real goal of this effort though is to spread awareness of my disease and to raise funds for research. I'm more than happy to give myself shots every two weeks and continue following my diet if it is the only option to help me fight this disease, but I would loooooove to hear that a cure has been found. I'm really not all that fond of needles...

  

To join my team, submit a secure donation, or just find out more info about the event, please visit my team website: http://seattlejinglebellrun.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=419456&lis=0&kntae419456=913A2169A92C4E59A96BBE39566E3F71

Let's get into the holiday spirit and kick some AS! Thanks for your support!

Seasons of Change

It's late October and it's fall in Seattle. The leaves are turning, the grocery stores are filled with displays of pumpkins and pomegranates, and there's a crisp bite in the air. It's the kind of weather that makes me want to curl up on the couch, wrap myself up in a cozy blanket, sip some hot apple cider, and ... blog. It feels like it's been forever since I've written a blog. My sincere apologies for the blog hiatus. Fall is a time of colorful changes, and this fall has definitely been chock full of changes for me. My life has basically been in a state of constant change for the past month. Exciting changes, and stressful changes, but mostly complete and utter life consuming changes that didn't leave much time for blogging. But now I'm through the other side, feeling more settled, and feeling good.

For starters, I got a new job! I have spent the past three and a half years working in food service management for a major Seattle hospital. I enjoyed it, but was feeling like I wanted to try something new. I started job searching, and hoped for a job that would allow me more time with patients and families. A few months ago I began the interview process for a job which would allow me much more patient contact and a chance to utilize my clinical brain a bit more, and I was offered the position at the end of September. I then spent the next three weeks working like a madwoman to wrap up some projects and delegate others. (I also fell off the diet wagon a bit while succumbing to celebratory happy hours and a work farewell pizza party. Alas, I am back on the diet again now and feeling better for it.)

In the midst of changing jobs I also moved. In the past, I've tried to live relatively close to my former job. Since my new position will mean time on the road and also the opportunity to work from home from time to time, I spent time thinking about where I've always wanted to live. I love the water, and was happy to find a cute apartment in West Seattle. I always feel like I'm on vacation when I'm in West Seattle, and the pace is a little slower than some of the other Seattle neighborhoods I've lived in.

So now that life has resumed a more normal pace, I am happy to return to the land of blogging.

Fall has always been my favorite season. I love the brightly colored leaves, the sunny crispy days, the smell in the air when the temperatures start to drop, and even the first of the rainy, stormy days spent curled up on the couch. I also love the fall because of the fall flavors.

To me, fall is synonymous with spice. Nutmeg, cinnamon, allspice, cardamon, and ginger all remind me of fall. Fall means spiced apple cider, roasted butternut squash, homemade apple cider, and pumpkin. Oh how I love pumpkin. Typically my fall diet consists of pumpkin bread, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin pancakes topped with pumpkin butter, and pumpkin bagels with pumpkin cream cheese. However, this fall is a little different due to the lack of pumpkin in my life. I am still on a strictly low starch diet, and squash has not been allowed back into my life as of yet.

However, what started as a simple craving for muffins on a cold and rainy evening turned into something that somehow reminds me of the pumpkin flavor I love without actually containing pumpkin. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have:

Fall Muffins (perfect for a stormy day):

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and prepare your muffin tin by greasing it or using paper cups.

Combine 1/2 cup coconut flour, 1/2 cup almond flour, and 1/2 cup peanut flour in a medium bowl.
Add 10 packets Truvia, 1/2 teaspoon salt, 1 tsp cream of tartar, and 1.5 tsp cinnamon.

**Note: baking powder contains cornstarch. To substitute for baking powder in a recipe, use 1/4 tsp baking soda and 1/2 tsp cream of tartar for every 1 tsp of baking powder.

Stir 1/3 cup oil and 1/3 cup unsweetened applesauce into flour mixture. Add 1/4 cup milk, 1/3 cup spiced apple cider (made from 100% apple juice), 1 tsp vanilla, and 1 egg.




Fill muffin tins 2/3 full, and bake for ~25 minutes, or until a knife inserted comes out clean.

Makes 12 muffins.

Enjoy!